I’ve always considered myself a big advocate for the power of the present moment and its seeming permanence despite its temporary, quickly passing nature. When I was younger, I, unlike many others my age, wanted moments to linger forever — my viewpoint perhaps was more nostalgic and romantic compared to my peers. I didn’t want to grow up or grow old; I wanted things to remain, more or less, the same. In this manner, I never could grasp the reasons why people and situations enter your life for seasons, only to depart and move forward on their own respective journeys.
Now, I’m beginning to understand the significance of the moment before me and the moments, which passed over the past few days and past few years. Every moment brought me to this day — to this now moment to unfold from. At the end of the day, I think that means the people who entered my life, if only for a season, could not stay forever because they were never meant to.
There is no tragedy in this passing. Rather, there is an intrinsic beauty in this greeting.
In more ways than one, this notion of goodbyes and hellos inspired much of the writing in my poetry collection Goodbye (Hello). I believe there is a circular nature in our lives and in our goodbyes and hellos. With every passing emerges a new arrival. Death begets life. The universe exists in a place consisting of opposites. Pain and beauty. Love and fear. Bloom and hibernation.
The more I lean into each season, the more I begin to understand how everything intrinsically is tied into this present moment.
And I suppose, in this way, every moment lasts forever.
Nobody told me how to use my voice. Nobody told me how to write my poetry although they most certainly tried to.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that it’s difficult to emerge sometimes from challenging situations with a heart full of gratitude and softer eyes for having undergone such tribulations.
But that’s what I strive to do every day — to emerge sweet despite the contrast, which has informed my pathway and candid resolution.
I think that every word I share on this blog and in my life has been marked by the promise to soften to these words and moments in this liminal space.
Because the more I live, the more I’m beginning to realize that those who’ve hurt me didn’t realize they could have realized better in their lives. The way I see it, every emotion at one point existed as suppressed sadness. When I sit with that cardinal fact, I’m left speechless in all honesty.
So, I present you with this oath, this sentimental promise: I will continue writing candidly in this space because every emotion, which has passed before me was once repressed by him and her and all those who did not believe in me because they could not realize better for themselves.
Repeat after me: I trust and surrender to the magnificent flow of life.
Today has been challenging for me. I’ve been met by specters of the past — doubt and a nameless kind of fear about my future and the birth of my newest aspirations — to write and live in the place where the lioness lay.
So, I’ve chosen to breathe through these shadows and fears and surrender to what is out of my hands and placed within the divine flow of consciousness. I believe in G-d — the magical, the mystical, the wondrous, and the unseen and I know even when I doubt that all is going according to plan.
Take some time for yourself today and dedicate it to play.
What does this look like for you? What does it feel like to trust and surrender to your heart and your wildest desires?
For me, it feels like breathing, dancing, and listening to good music.
For me, it feels like putting on my favorite fragrance and meditating.